You know you’ve been in the hospital too long when…
-you know ALL of the nurses and patient care technicians
-you know some of the nurses’ schedules
-you can talk to a nurse about her son’s wedding because you knew it was going to happen
-you don’t have to look at the menu to order food because you know it all
-the cleaning ladies ask how your parents’ move is going
-the nurses offer to go themselves to buy something for you to keep boredom away
-workers in the hospital know your son by name
-you have your own private room (lifesaver!)
-you can successfully instruct the medical students how to operate the fetal heart monitor because they’re not sure what to do
-the room service staff knows some of the food you like and you can ask them about some of the classes you know they’re taking
-you’ve watched women come in, give birth, and then go home; now their babies are a few weeks old
-you’ve lost count of how many times you’ve been poked to start a new IV
-there is a permanent indentation in your bed from where you sit all day
-you have family pictures up on the wall
-you know the schedule of most of the TV channels’ programs
-it would take a while to collect all of your stuff in your room because you’ve collected so much personal stuff, necessary items, and activities
And finally….
-the sun was still up at 8 o’clock in the evening when you came to the hospital, now it’s not even up at 6:45
These are all true, just to name a few. I have been here for a month tomorrow and will hopefully be here for at least another 5 ½ weeks. :)
Monday, September 21, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
09/10/09 Baby Pat
This isn't the most upbeat post in the world, so you can skip over it or not. It's mainly just for me to get my thoughts out. It doesn't matter to me. Oh, and PS: This isn't meant to make you feel like I'm having a pity party for myself.
Today is the day I was due with my second baby. As you all know, I lost that baby in a miscarriage. I have been dreading this day all year. What do you do with a day like this? After a while, you finally get used to (not get over) the day you lost the baby but in the back of your mind you know you still have your due date to come. That's the day you're supposed to be really excited for. You get to have your brand new baby that you've been waiting for all year.
You don't know what to do with a miscarriage. Even though I lost the baby fairly early on, I believe I had a living human being inside of me. We had no warning. Just one morning, I started bleeding. I went to the hospital and by the time they did an ultrasound (couple of hrs later), there was no sign of a viable pregnancy.
I feel a lot better now but I think it's due more to time rather than completely dealing with it. It really frustrates me when someone asks me how many children I have. What do I say? I don't want to get into a pity party with them, but there is no simple answer in my mind. I have one son and am expecting another one, but what happens to Baby #2 in that equation? Doesn't exist/count because I don't have a birth story to tell? I haven't decided how to phrase that one yet. Probably never will quite to my liking.
One of the main reasons I write this post is to make Baby #2 exist in other people's minds. Baby #2 was my second baby. Since we never found out the gender, we call it "Pat" so it doesn't get mad at us either way if it's a boy or a girl. :) Another is most people don't know what to do with the sensitive subject of miscarriage. It's not realized how commonly it actually happens. People avoid the subject because of sensitivity and uncertainty. It's ok. Oh, & I just recently learned that October is pregnancy loss awareness month.
Now that this day has come and gone, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I didn't mope around. Truthfully, being pregnant with Baby #3 has helped a little. Don't think by any means that Baby #3 was a replacement or filler for Pat's place. I guess just feeling Baby #3 moving around made me think more about the future and not dwell on the past. I must say it's weird being in the hospital on this day due to a baby, just not Baby #2.
That's about all I have to say right now. Maybe I'll say more later. I will never forget about this day. Pat's day
Today is the day I was due with my second baby. As you all know, I lost that baby in a miscarriage. I have been dreading this day all year. What do you do with a day like this? After a while, you finally get used to (not get over) the day you lost the baby but in the back of your mind you know you still have your due date to come. That's the day you're supposed to be really excited for. You get to have your brand new baby that you've been waiting for all year.
You don't know what to do with a miscarriage. Even though I lost the baby fairly early on, I believe I had a living human being inside of me. We had no warning. Just one morning, I started bleeding. I went to the hospital and by the time they did an ultrasound (couple of hrs later), there was no sign of a viable pregnancy.
I feel a lot better now but I think it's due more to time rather than completely dealing with it. It really frustrates me when someone asks me how many children I have. What do I say? I don't want to get into a pity party with them, but there is no simple answer in my mind. I have one son and am expecting another one, but what happens to Baby #2 in that equation? Doesn't exist/count because I don't have a birth story to tell? I haven't decided how to phrase that one yet. Probably never will quite to my liking.
One of the main reasons I write this post is to make Baby #2 exist in other people's minds. Baby #2 was my second baby. Since we never found out the gender, we call it "Pat" so it doesn't get mad at us either way if it's a boy or a girl. :) Another is most people don't know what to do with the sensitive subject of miscarriage. It's not realized how commonly it actually happens. People avoid the subject because of sensitivity and uncertainty. It's ok. Oh, & I just recently learned that October is pregnancy loss awareness month.
Now that this day has come and gone, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I didn't mope around. Truthfully, being pregnant with Baby #3 has helped a little. Don't think by any means that Baby #3 was a replacement or filler for Pat's place. I guess just feeling Baby #3 moving around made me think more about the future and not dwell on the past. I must say it's weird being in the hospital on this day due to a baby, just not Baby #2.
That's about all I have to say right now. Maybe I'll say more later. I will never forget about this day. Pat's day
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